too hot

As I was getting into the groove of things this morning I almost set the building ablaze.

Here's what happened.

I lit a candle, and placed it in an inconvenient place.

As I was writing letters and numbers from a stack of papers that was in hand, I looked up and saw that the pages that were flipped over were on fire. I was holding onto fire. In my office.

As smoke rose, I attempted to blow out the flames I screamed, "Oh shit."

Flames not going out.

Throw stack of burning papers on the plastic thing underneath my desk. Still burning. Still smoke.

This place is going to burn down because I am an idiot.

I am an idiot.

The fire alarm is going to go off because of me.

What puts out fire?

Water.

Water! I have bottled water.

Pour bottled water on-top of flames.

Fire extinguished.

I am a firefighter.

emotion

There is a big ball of it stirring up inside of me. Not sure what to do with it. Be upset? Be mad? Be happy? Be sad? Be disappointed? Be nothing? I need to do something with it, but I don't know how or what or who to direct it at.

I am sure it's just part of growing up. People let you down, you let yourself down, and expectations are not met. Yeah, this part of growing up is no good. I know it will get better. I know that I will once again be confident in myself. I will not need constant reassurance of who I am.

I need to get out of this and fast.

Here's to pointing it at the sun and delicious Icees.

<33333

My date.


His date.


His gifts to me (dinner not pictured).


My gifts to him.



He rocks my world.

Californiaaaaaa here we coooooooooooome.

I am very upset about the end of The OC. Only two more episodes left, and one of my favorite Thursday night shows will be gone forever. First Dawson's Creek, then Friends, soon Scrubs, and now The OC. I suppose I could buy the seasons on DVD, but I just don't feel like The OC was given a chance after the departure of Mischa Barton. Actually, I liked the last season better than the rest because she wasn't on it. I know I sound like some kind of lame-o who is obsessed. I am not obsessed. But I do enjoy the show. Ok, so maybe I am slightly obsessed. And maybe the show did get kinda outta control last season, or was it the one before last? I am not sure. I stopped watching for a while, but never stopped loving it. I would sing the theme song to the top of my lungs and make everyone's ears bleed who was in a mile radius.

I am not sure how the series will end, I just hope Summer and Seth end up together. And in my mind Sandy and Kirsten will be the greatest married couple to ever walk the planet.

Goodbye The OC. I will miss you, but sadly FOX will not.

Because people get shot in the face every day in Oregon.

I am sure I will hear about this from my parents.

I can just hear it.

Dad: Jordan, I read today that a man got shot in the face today in Oregon.

Me: Yeah, Dad I heard that too. The guy who shot him was an idiot druggie.

Dad: See! If you move up there not only will you get shot in the face, but you will turn into a druggie too! Did you know they smoke pot in Oregon?

she is going to kill me.

Em, I hope we have many more nights like this.
I love you.

I feel good, nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh.

I am so happy I could burst right now.

Freaking explode with happiness and sunshine all over the place.

chicken salad sandwich, chips, and tea

You know, I just give up on a "good" post tonight. Sorry, Maggie Mason, I am not doing you proud. I just don't have anything to say tonight. I thought I did. Something about how optimistic Thursdays are. But the bottom line is this, I have a new camera, and I just want to cuddle up with it and tell it just how great it is. Also, sometimes you realize that you just aren't as great at something as you thought you were ... i.e. this blog.

Anyway, tonight I ordered a New Castle while at dinner with my parents and it was the perfect way to end this hectic day.

Get outta my face, January

January is over.

See you later sucker.

I hated January. I am not the type of person who thinks of a new month is a fresh start. The only fresh starts I thought of were school years, and now, those have passed. In keeping with my new year's resolution on being positive, there were good things that happened in January ... I got to see the Nipsys quite a bit, I did not die, and I started a Thursday tradition. But for the most part, January completely blew.

Last night I was reading an interview with Mandy Moore in Jane magazine. For the most part the article was about Mandy's transition period in her life with the big break up with Zach and paying for her new album. I didn't want to feel sorry for her because she has only dated the cutest guys on this earth. AND even though she has a terrible under-bite she still manages to steal my heart in every movie she has been in -- yes even How to Deal. Oh AND remember that way cute short haircut she got that you knew you could never pull off but you really wanted to just let lose and try it just this once? Well, I tried it, and it was dreadful. As I was reading her words on the page, it could have been words out of my diary ... if I even had a diary. It was like the words jumped off the page, grabbed hold of my heart and held on tight. Yes, the girl who sang that terrible candy song with the long flailing arms and drove the lime green bug even though she was only what 14? feels the same way as I do, and it's going to be ok.

I am going to be ok.

Yeah, January was shit, and February is going to be much brighter.