holy crap

About a month ago I made the biggest decision of my life. I decided to quit my job of almost 2 years.

I had never been completely happy with my job, and in recent months I was growing to hate it. I was completely stressed out, and I didn't feel like I was doing good enough. I tried really hard, but it was never good enough. And honestly I didn't care. I wasn't passionate about it.

The stress was taking over me. From the moment I woke up until the moment I fell asleep I was stressed. I'd wake up with a terrible knot in my stomach. I'd go to sleep with that same knot. I'd try to forget about work at night and on the weekends, but the anxiety took over.

I was expected to work late hours and come in early (on my last week there I came in at 6:00 in the morning -- wish I was kidding). I know it may seem like I had the worst job ever. I didn't. It's a really good job, but it wasn't for me. I wasn't willing to make my job my life. I didn't want to make the scarifices.

So, I looked for something, anything else to do. I found a job. They hired me.

Then I almost shit my pants. Was I making the right decision? Would I like this new position? What if they are mean? Am I going to be good enough? When will I get paid? Ahhhh!

I mean I worked for amazing people who really cared about me and my well being, but they didn't know how unahppy I was. I walked down the hallway, shut my boss' door and let it all out. I told her I was offered a new job, and I would be leaving in 2 weeks and how unhappy I had been. I explained how I didn't feel successful and I wasn't passionate about my work. I was letting my clients down, my bosses down, and myself down. She completely understood and said she wanted me to be happy and thanked me for being so honest.

Two weeks later I started my new job. It's not my dream job (ACL Fest are y'all hiring?), but it's work that I think I can be successful at. And I am really enjoying it. That's all I really need right now.