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| Helen Rose at age 16 (hottie to the max) |
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| Mamaw, me, mom and Aunt Tana |
Last month my sweet Mamaw and Aunt Tana were killed from a tragic car accident. It was an incredibly hard week learning the news, planning the funerals, going to the funerals, etc. I first want to thank all of my friends and family who kicked it into high gear and brought food, sent cards, messages, voice mails, emails, thoughts, prayers. You name it people did it. I know for a fact that the reason I was able to get out of bed that week was because of all the thoughts and prayers. I literally felt them. I was able to put one foot in front of the other and help my mom and her sisters plan the funerals of the two best women we knew.
It's no secret that my Mamaw was one of my favorite people on this entire earth. She taught me how to love, forgive, how to be a good wife, daughter, and a friend. I learned so many things from my grandmother. The one thing I honor above all is how she taught me to be kind. She showed kindness to everyone she knew, and it wasn't anything she had to have a sit-down talk with me. I could it see by her actions with her daughters, husband, friends, family, and strangers.
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| Mamaw and my Papaw so in love |
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| Mamaw and her second husband, Walter |
I miss her every single day, and I miss every single thing about her.
I will miss her laughter, her smile, her Mamaw kisses. I will miss her voice messages letting me know it's going to be cold or rainy or hot. I will miss her over the holidays. I will miss putting her on speaker phone with my friends in the car so they can hear her sweet Georgia accent. I will miss how she called me "My sweet baby girl" or MSBG for short.
I will miss telling her about my growing belly and feeling the baby kick. I will miss her on the day sweet Baby Bear is born. I know there will be a huge hole in my heart on that day because she won't be there. I will miss it all. As much as I miss her, I know that she lives in my heart.
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| Mamaw holding me as a baby |
I can't wait to tell little Baby Bear all about her. I'll tell him about the time we found her dancing to Reba McIntyre in the living room, or the story about how she picked me up from the movies when I was in middle school BLARING Yanni from her huge white tank. I can't wait to tell him how much she loved coffee after dinner, and how we would tease her about the one time she put shredded cheese in it because she wanted a little treat. He will hear about her infectious laugh and how that one Christmas she laughed and laughed because all of her girls got her a copy of The Notebook. Then he will hear how she called Aaron Noah because he reminded her of Noah from The Notebook due to his "kind and gentle demeanor." Little one is sure to hear about her curiosity and appetite for knowledge. He will hear about the love she had for everyone and how much she already loved him so much before she passed away.
I know this post is all over the place, and I wish I could do her justice with my words. It may still be too raw, or it may be that I will never have the adequate words and sentences to truly express how much she meant to me. Instead, I'll post the eulogy my dad wrote for her funeral.
I love you Mamaw.
First, I’d like that thank all of you for being here. I’m John Marshall and as I’ve had to
say for about 30 years “I married the third Nunnally daughter” … When you say you
married a Nunnally, you always have to qualify which one.
It won’t surprise any of you by saying that it’s been a tough week, but this is as strong
and as faith-filled of a family as you will ever meet. But then, you already know that
because you know of Helen. And no doubt you know of the legacy that Helen had when
she was with us and will continue to have upon us now that she has left us.
Nevertheless, please know that your support in the last week and has left an indelible
impression on the entire family.
* * *
We spend so much time is settings such as this worrying and wondering about things we
don’t know. Things we can’t understand or never will understand. The mysteries of life
and the mysteries of death.
Instead, we should concentrate on the things we know.
Here is what I know. Right now, in heaven, Helen just leaned over to Tana and said “You
know that John is a Catholic, don’t you?” Tana is now clasping Helen’s hand and saying
“Shhh, Mother, let’s just hear what he has to say.”
We are here to celebrate Helen’s life, so let’s do that. Helen didn’t want anyone to ever
feel uncomfortable around her, so let’s not start now. Spend a second or two and think of
your favorite Helen moment and I promise it will make you smile. Lord knows that you
have plenty to choose from.
In fact, I would ask all of you to pause with me, close your eyes and picture Helen in
your mind. ….. So now, here’s another thing I know – in that picture you just had in
your mind, Helen was smiling.
That’s because smiling is one of the things Helen did best. Smiling at her daughters,
smiling at her grandchildren and great grandchildren. Smiling at friends and co-workers.
Smiling at church. Smiling at life.
Which wasn’t always easy. But Helen always found a way to make life work. She had
more than her share of difficulties to deal with, but she was always able to get through
any adversity and do it with a smile.
But that came easily to Helen because she had the formula. Family and church. Church
and family. If she wasn’t with one, she was with the other. And her greatest joy? No
question, it was putting those two together.
In the countless stories we have heard about Helen – not just those in the last week –
almost all of them involve some combination of Tana, Jenny, Lori, Erin and Waller
Baptist Church. Sunday mornings, Sunday nights, Wednesday nights, friends, boyfriends,
social events, youth groups … a lot of intersecting lines in all that.
Get a group of Nunnally girls together and watch them laugh. Get a group of
grandchildren and watch them laugh about Helen and her mannerisms. The two-hour
trips to Wal-Mart, made longer because she loved to touch the items on the shelves. Her
ability to use twice as many syllables as usual for the term “family values.” The way she
would never kiss a grandchild only once. Or twice. Instead, it was rapid fire until her lips
got tired. How when she moved to the assisting living facility a few years ago when she
was 75, she felt it was her calling to minister “to the elderly people.”
Helen loved whatever she did. Think about that. A lot of us get caught up life’s
unhappiness, whether it is a job or a relationship or what we perceive to be a chore. Helen
loved everything she did.
Starting with being a mother. As an Air Force wife, there were long periods of time in
which it was just her and the girls. And Helen made that work because she had it figured
out – lots of love and lots of faith.
First was Tana, who became a clone of Helen almost from the minute she was born. And
then Jenny, and thus was formed a tag-team sister partnership. Ooops, partnership might
not be the right word. According to my “sources,” there were plenty of shenanigans
between the two that involved boyfriends, bent fenders and who took who’s makeup.
And when Tana and Jenny couldn’t blame each other, they found another option – blame
younger sister Lori. It didn’t matter that Lori was too young to drive and too young to
date and barely weighed 50 pounds, that didn’t stop accusing fingers being pointed her
way when necessary.
By the time Lori was old enough to fend for herself and Helen thought things might have
settled down, along came Erin. Helen found herself as a mother again in her 40s, but that
was never a problem. After the sister battles with Tana and Jenny and Lori, no one had
the energy. So Erin had it made. Free pass.
And that brought about the next chapter. Nobody could turn one of life’s pages like
Helen. She is the alltime champion of going from a mother to a grandmother. Never
fought it for a second. In fact, as I look back on it, I think about how Helen was in her
late 40s when I met her. Huh? That’s not possible. Helen was a 79 when she passed
away, but it seems like she’s been 79 for decades. Some people try to stiff-arm age;
Helen embraced it.
I would often laugh because Helen had little use for the male species. She knew nothing
about men and really didn’t care to know. As you might imagine, we didn’t spent a whole
lot time discussing the zone blitz or why the Cubs can’t win a World Series. I’m pretty
sure she never watched a Super Bowl. But if there was an event at which she needed to
attend – she was there. Graduation, dance recital and yes, even baseball game – she was
there. And her love for her sons in law and grandsons was just as strong as it was for her
daughters and granddaughters.
Through it all, she always “Helen.” From the day I met her, I called her Helen. Mrs.
Nunnally? No such person. Everybody called her Helen. Most of the time, her daughters
even called her Helen.
Here’s another thing I know: Helen was at her happiest when she left us. Though you
wouldn’t know it from how she dealt with it, life wasn’t always easy for Helen.
One of her daughters once told a friend “We didn’t have much, but we never ate off paper
plates.” That might sound like a great title to a country song, but think about that for a
minute – “we never ate off paper plates.” Helen provided for her girls, no matter what
was left in her checkbook. Now, that is a mother’s lasting legacy.
If you think Helen couldn’t manage a family, consider these four words – four girls, one
bathroom. Enough said.
Though her spirit never dampened, she dealt with much physical pain in her later years.
But the move to Lufkin last year to be with Tana and her family changed everything.
(And by the way, a nod to Tana’s husband Kevin for getting charter membership in the
Son-In-Law Hall of Fame by having his mother in law move into his house.) There was
an immediate change in Helen. Physically, she improved almost instantly and her life was
made so much more whole and complete. When she went to be with the Lord, arm-in-arm with Tana, she was one happy Helen.
And I will leave you with two more things I know: (1) Upon arrival in heaven, the Lord
made sure that He called her Helen. (2) And when he did, she had a smile on her face.
