beantown blues

I miss Boston.

Watching the Sox win game 6 of the ALCS followed by this week's Boston Legal made my heart ache for that place. The Commons, Newbury St., Steak Bomb, Beacon St., Wrap, Charles River, cemeteries, the North End, crazy homeless people, accents, over-priced meals, The Upper Crust, CVS, scamming the mass transit, window shopping for clothes I will never be able to afford, the Pru. I miss it all.

I want to go back.

I need to go back.

This is probably my favorite spot in the world.

5.0

Five years ago today I sent this text message -- "Can we talk?"
He thought I wanted to call things off.
Turns out, I wanted to call things on.
We had a really good 4.5 years. Amazing, really.
We are good now. Friends?
Maybe we will stay friends, maybe we will get back to "us." I'm not sure on that answer right now, but that's ok. We'll figure it out.
I am so lucky that for the past 5 years Patrick has been in my life. He has taught me so much about myself, about how strong I can be, about being a friend, about believing in myself, and most importantly how to have fun.

To five more years of here poochie poochie faces.

Season for thanks.

Things I am thankful for today:
My amazing mom.
Lunch traditions.
Project Runway marathons.
Waking up early.
Good girlfriends.
The Beatles.
Mix CDs.
Vegetables.
Honesty.

I'm sure there are more. But those are the important ones for the moment.

<3

shut up

Please. Just shut up.

I cannot stand it when people come in during the middle my favorite show and start asking questions. Especially when they haven't seen any episodes of the season. I cant take a simple question here and there, because, I even forget some stuff. But to come in being all loud and asking questions that you would have known had you watched any episodes at all and then repeat the question when no one has answered you. Don't you get it that we are trying to pay attention to the show, and I don't know it may be an important part? Just shut your face, please.

What's next? Asking me to sit down during a concert? Oh, yeah. Been there done that.

You know what I'm saying, b?

Can we watch the MOS dvd together curled up on a couch?

:)

Things that make me smile.
Diabetus.
Bad acting on Private Practice where a man kicks his dead wife's grave, then pets it.
White Zynf.
Planning birthday parties.
Tuesday night catch up sessions.
Impulsive WalMart shopping trips.
Gmail emoticons.
Myspace stalking.
Top Model makeovers.
EW.com TV Watch.
Salads.
New love for raw red onions.
Peep toe pumps and flats.
Hoodies.
KLR.
Robin Roberts.
Feta cheese.
Any kind of cheese.
Big Sam.
Bangs.
Love.
And of course, MIGAS!

No one ever tells James Bond which way to go.

I am at home at 4:45 watching Notting Hill. I love it. I miss afternoons to myself. I can get so much done. Like blogging, watching TV, snacks, going to the dr. only to have them reschedule because she has to deliver a baby (by all means don't let me stop you from bringing a human being into the world), getting the hanging down plastic thing on my car fixed. See? Lots of stuff I can get done.

I really do miss being in college. Naps, no worries, being surrounded by friends, grilled stuffed burrito nights, front porches, staying up late, Japanese food trips. Yep, I miss it. But I am starting to like this life.

Today was my one year anniversary at work. I celebrated it by taking the afternoon off for a half day sick day. One year. Already? Geez. Sometimes I feel like I finally have some sort of grasp on my job, and some days I feel as lost as I did one year ago.

things.

-If you haven't watching the new ABC show "Pushing Daisies," then go to abc.com and watch it online. It's amazing. Very Big Fish-ish. The boy is cute, the girl is a Zoe Deschanel twin. And pies and raising people from the dead are involved. Amazing.

-Speaking of TV. I am loving the fall lineup. Grey's is coming back to its roots. Not quite there, yet, but it's on it's way. Desperate Housewives is looking like it's going to be a good season. And Boston Legal. How much do I love Boston Legal? AMILLION! That's how much. Seriously, go rent all of the seasons, or just start watching this one. You will fall in love. It takes place in Boston, William Shatner is in it, AND AND a cute British girl is the new lawyer. She rocks my world. And then there are the old stand bys ... ANTM, LA Ink, Ugly Betty, and you know my thoughts on Dancing with the Stars.

-My mom was home this weekend. It was a much needed visit. We just hung out and cooked the entire time. Oh, and watched Dancing with the Stars. Apparently, we can't get enough. I will be sad to see her go tomorrow. But it'll be ok.

-I'm about ready for the holidays. Or at least some cooler weather. Target has some pretty cute jackets, and I want to be all up on it. Come on fall breeze, where are you?

-I have a slight, ok not so slight, obsession with social networks. OBSESSED. I can't stop. I need to take control over it. I don't know what it is about facebook and myspace. I just constantly check it. I'm going to work on it.

-I need some new good reads. Any ideas? I want like good meaty reading material. Something to feed my mind.

-I'm ready for my life to be settled. I haven't been settled in about a year. Things will look like they are settling, and then bam it gets all stirred back up again. Just ready for something stable. It's coming soon. I'm excited about it.

-My grandmother is absolutely fabulous. I love her so, so much.

America's Next Top Dancing Mom

I just cried while watching America's Next Top Model.
Yes, you read that right.
I just cried while watching America's Next Top Model.
What is wrong with me?

Poor Heather.
Heather suffers from Asperger's syndrome and of course the other girls picked on her. No surprise there. So, Heather turned to her mom for some advice. She couldn't hold back the tears. Her mom told her to keep her chin up, and like any good mom, be kind to the other girls. I suppose Heather's need for her mom's comforting words may have hit a little close to home.

I called my mom tonight crying. Balling actually. My mom moved about 2 months ago to New Orleans. It's been an adjustment to say the least. I couldn't hold back anymore how much I missed her. I cried, she cried. Then what did we do to make ourselves feel better? Discuss this season's Dancing With the Stars. Oh, ABC's fall lineup. How I have missed you so. Mom and I may be 333 miles away, but nothing will cheer us up like a good C-list celebrity Fox Trot.

Period.

Standing in an obnoxiously long line at Albertson's.

Painter Man: I'm not ready for that self check out, just yet.
Me: Oh yeah? I would do it, but I have this motion to bottle of wine in one hand, while trying not to drop bag of chips and two boxes of feminine products in the other.
PM: Ha, yeah.
Manager: I'm going to open this register, just follow me.
I follow PM to the open register. PM motions me to get infront of him in line.
PM: You ... um ... have ... less items than me. Go ahead.
Me: Thanks!

I feel it all. I feel it all.

One week.
Lots of things can change.
I'm liking it.
It's been an interesting summer.
School's back in session, boys and girls.

This lady

And this lady

Are my memory makers.

bonding

Even though I just moved into my new apartment, tonight I am sleeping on a matress in my parent's room with my brother. Why? Because my sink is busted and some guy is coming at the butt-crack of dawn to fix it, and the ac is out at my parent's house -- except for the unit in their room.

Lots of stuff going on in my life. I can't even put it into words at the moment. I will soon.

For now, though I am going to bed at 9:45 p.m. on my parent's floor.

Goodnight.

Thanks.

Thank you. Yep. You.
Thanks. I appreciate your face. All of it.

I have been completely selfish the past few months, and you have allowed me to do that. You put my needs in front of yours. You listened to me. You heard it all. You were a pillar of strength whether you knew it or not. Thank you for letting me get through this. I made it through the other side. I am better because of it. I am great, actually. I'm on the right track.

Thank you. I can't say it enough.

Now, it's your turn. I promise to be a good friend to you. I will put you first now. It's your turn, baby.

Let's go have some fun, and eat some tacos while we are at it.

Story of my life.

You know that dream you have where you are naked and you run into your ex-boyfriend for the first time since breaking up and he is with a girl you are less than fond of as well as his friend who never really liked you anyway at a concert the two of you were supposed to see together and after you talk to him you turn around and fall on your ass?

Yeah, that dream became a reality Friday night -- except I wasn't naked. So, I guess that's a plus.

I just picked myself up from the fall and walked away. I really think it is a metaphor of the past two months of my life.

It would only happen to me, and that is what's so great about my life.

Jage

This past weekend my brother, JJ, and I hit the road for Lafayette/Baton Rouge/Denham Springs. Spending 10 or so hours alone with JJ was the top ten hours of my life.

We said it all by singing someone else's words. Those words became our dialogue. He understood me, and I understood him.

I never realized how much I missed being around him. I didn't realize how much he already knew about me without me having to explain it all. He got it. My little brother is all grown up, and I am really enjoying the person he is becoming.

Just give me JJ, Jeff Tweedy, and the open road, and I'll be just fine.

Got it.

I am feeling pretty good these days. Most days I am feeling pretty good.
My life makes me laugh. I laugh at my situation all the time.
My life is pretty fun, right now. I think I am happy with it.
I just figure I have two choices, be sad and feel sorry for myself all the time, or go out and be happy. I have chosen to be happy. At least make the effort, put the right foot forward to being happy. And that's what I am doing. Sure it's not always going to be easy, and I won't always feel this good. For right now, though, I am good. I have an incredible group of friends, and my family rocks my face off.
I'll just laugh at myself and be happy with what I got.
I got some pretty amazing shit.

Pride.

I weigh 127 pounds. I haven't seen this weight on a scale since high school.
It's not something I am proud of like every one seems to think.
"Jordan, you look so good. I am so proud of you."
Proud of what? Proud that I have been too upset this past month to even have an appetite? Proud that the only thing I feel like I can control is what goes into my mouth?
So, yes, I have lost weight, but it certainly isn't something to be proud of.

I think I am going to go have some ice cream.

He just gets it.

This is 100% completely me right now. It's me.
Thanks for understanding and putting it into words, John Mayer.

"Heart of Life"

I hate to see you cry
Laying there in that position
There's things you need to hear
So turn off your tears and listen

Pain throws you heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No, it won't all go the way, it should
But I know the heart of life is good

You know it's nothing new
Bad news never had good timing
But then the circle of your firends
Will defend the silver lining

Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No, it won't all go the way, it should
But I know the heart of life is good

Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
Fear is a friend who's misunderstood
But I know the heart of life is good

I know it's good

So.

He ended it.
He did what was best for him. Now, it's time for me to do what's best for me.
I am sad, confused, angry, hurt, but most importantly, I am strong. I have found this amazing inner strength. I am ok. I will be great soon, very soon.
I got this, boo. Don't you worry about me.

Modestlicious

Good music can cure anything, but so can some trashy pop music.
Modest Mouse and Fergie they both make me happy, and that's ok with me.

PPP

I have this pencil. This purple perfect pencil. Everything about it is perfect. The way is writes. The weight. The way it erases. Everything. I have had it since my first day. There are only like 5 of them left in the office, and wherever we get them from discontinued making them. I have two, but the other is orange, and we don't have the history.

So, my boss comes in my office the other day to discuss something. She needs a pencil. She uses my purple perfect pencil. We continue talking. She almost hands it to me then we get on a different tangent. She walks out of my office. With. My. Pencil.

Goodbye perfect purple pencil. I will never see you again. I mean, really, what am I supposed to do? Excuse me, can I have my pencil back? I don't think so. I walk by her office and see it sitting on her desk. I wish I could steal it away. I can't. That would be weird. B'bye pencil.

About an hour later ....

I walk past her office.
"Jordan, I think I took your pencil."
"Thanks."

And I do a little dance down the hallway holding my perfect purple pencil tightly.